I've Stopped Trusting The Internet

If you're in San Francisco right now, look outside. Just do it.

/turns, faces window, sighs deeply

Do you see that? Right there. It's blue sky. Blue, cloudless, sunny sky. And it's beautiful. Normally, something like this would be rejoiced. Hallelujah! Something that actually resembles sunny, summer weather! NO WAY!

But I'm not pleased. This is a borderline catastrophe. And I blame the internet for it. "But why? The internet does not control the weather" you ask, ever so innocently. And I respond with "Yes, you're right, but it does have the uncanny ability to REPORT THE WEATHER, which it fails to do so accurately." Then a chorus of angels will appear around me with horns and banners and I will spread my message of really awful weather reporting on the internet to the masses and there will be much rejoicing, maybe some ham and whiskey too.

Earlier this week I checked out my go-to weather website, a little operation called www.weather.com. Their domain name clearly creates a sense of authority, so why wouldn't they be right? Oh, I don't know, maybe because they're really bad at what they do? That must be it. According to their website, the weather would be in the upper 60's all week, even breaching into the 70's this weekend. Huzzah! Summer has arrived I cried as I packed my heavy coats and rain boots away until Fall.

So far this week I've been rained on, almost blown off my bicycle from gale force winds and had to wear gloves at work. I am not amused weather.com, not amused at all. All I have to say to you is LIAR LIAR SERVER ON FIRE!

I'm not the only one disappointed in you Internet.

Now I don't just rely on weather.com's shoddy reporting of what to expect day to day. I've also been known to check Google weather, the National Weather Service, and of course, whatever Weather app they have for iPhones. Shockingly enough, each weather site offers a different take on how the day/week will pan out. Not a single site can agree on how I should dress on Friday.

I know the internet is a place for different opinions, views and thoughts, but shouldn't something as important as WEATHER be fairly consistent?

So help me out internets. Please pretend that reporting the weather accurately is just as important as reporting the stock market. Don't lie to me (and thousands of others) and trick me into riding home in the rain, or wearing a parka when it's 65 degrees.

You're better than that.