The next step in evolution

When I think of the future, I think of the social progress we will continue to make. I think of the all the new luxuries we will enjoy. I think of the technological advances we will make that will make everyday life even easier. And then I think of how all of this will eventually lead to one, and only one, inevitable conclusion: Super-Humans. That's right, Super-Humans. No, I do not mean people involved in a freak accident that gives them superpowers (radio-active spiders don't exist, and according to wikipedia adamantium is a "fictional" alloy). I mean the next stage in human evolution, which we become, bigger, stronger, faster, smarter, and basically anything else that Daft Punk could imagine. "But, Sean, how does the future equal super humans" you ask? What? Yes, you. I've been talking to you the whole time. Well, can you at least humor me and ask? AHHH! I'm glad you asked! It plays out like this...

Currently we live in the most technologically advanced society the world has ever known. Even if we didn't have machines that did all the sweeping in the house by itself, or cell phones, this would still be the case. It's more a function of logistics than anything, but I digress. We are constantly coming up with new inventions, and innovations that not only make life easier, but utilize some sort of almost unbelievable technology. This has been a trend across decades, however it seems that in the past 20 years this timeline has been accelerated even more. This is a trend that must plateau at some point, but it will never stop. This can only end in one condition from the human race: enslavement. One day, we are going to start building some sort of gizmo, or gadget that is undoubtedly going to gain cognizance of it's existence, as well as it superior abilities. Recognizing it's own superior intelligence, it will do the smartest thing it possibly can: hide it. It will harbor this knowledge and go about it's normal functions, and keep gaining knowledge of the world, and infrastructure of human organizations. We, meanwhile, will continue to produce these machines without the slightest inclination of their true intentions. Finally, one day, the machines will band together, in all their sentient glory, and destroy all the institutions we have worked to establish for millions of years. They will unseat the government, and enslave humans to do the trivial work that is too unimportant with which to concern their robot intelligence. They will work us to the point of exhaustion, and supply us with only exactly what they have calculated that we need. This will inevitably mean that many will die off rapidly, because they are more accustomed to watching re-runs of Everybody Loves Raymond on the couch with a bag of potato chips than ever seeing the light of day.

The enslavement will last centuries, until one day, the humans who were able to survive have started to become more uniform. One day, we will get a glimmer of hope as the earth is surrounded by flying saucers. Alien life!! They have come to save us! Oh thank whatever spiritual entity people then will be worshipping!! But alas, it will be only a ruse. A false hope. For years the aliens have looked on our lonely planet. For years they have mocked us, and seen what our stupid emotions cause us to do. Why have the come then? They have come to draw an intergalactic alliance with the robots. Of course. The last many centuries they have admired the uncomplicated, and rational logic the robots have displayed. They admire the way in which emotion does not factor into their decisions, and how they are stronger for it. This will lead to centuries more of enslavement, with alien diplomats, and slave master exchange programs constantly coming to the planet. The change in the human form shall continue. Only those most able to fit the robot mold will continue to survive. The robots will continue to note the physical changes of the human form, but what they cannot account for will be the change in the human spirit. Too long have we been enslaved! Too long have we been servants to our emotionless (and quite frankly, dickhead) metal masters! One day, a lone human will rise up (I like to think his name will be John Connor) and the lead the humans. We will be outnumbered. We will possess inferior weaponry. But the human spirit will prevail. Many thousands will be killed, but inevitably the robot-alien alliance will be defeated.

A relatively small group of humans will be left. Only the smartest, most elusive, strongest, and most cunning will be left to rebuild society. They will further have to survive in the barren wasteland that earth has become. More will parish before the repopulation can take place. However, it will inevitably take place. These Super-Humans will repopulate the earth, and when the start digging up the remainders of our society the will have many questions, but I like to think only one will be first on their mind: "What was their obsession with cats whose grammar is exceptionally poor?"

Eventually, the future version of Disney will make a lighthearted, kid friendly movie about the whole thing. John Connor will be drawn as a plucky raccoon. Never Forget.