Insert Witty Title Here

The next step in evolution

2009-08-19T10:23:00.000-07:00

When I think of the future, I think of the social progress we will continue to make. I think of the all the new luxuries we will enjoy. I think of the technological advances we will make that will make everyday life even easier. And then I think of how all of this will eventually lead to one, and only one, inevitable conclusion: Super-Humans. That's right, Super-Humans. No, I do not mean people involved in a freak accident that gives them superpowers (radio-active spiders don't exist, and according to wikipedia adamantium is a "fictional" alloy). I mean the next stage in human evolution, which we become, bigger, stronger, faster, smarter, and basically anything else that Daft Punk could imagine. "But, Sean, how does the future equal super humans" you ask? What? Yes, you. I've been talking to you the whole time. Well, can you at least humor me and ask? AHHH! I'm glad you asked! It plays out like this...

Currently we live in the most technologically advanced society the world has ever known. Even if we didn't have machines that did all the sweeping in the house by itself, or cell phones, this would still be the case. It's more a function of logistics than anything, but I digress. We are constantly coming up with new inventions, and innovations that not only make life easier, but utilize some sort of almost unbelievable technology. This has been a trend across decades, however it seems that in the past 20 years this timeline has been accelerated even more. This is a trend that must plateau at some point, but it will never stop. This can only end in one condition from the human race: enslavement. One day, we are going to start building some sort of gizmo, or gadget that is undoubtedly going to gain cognizance of it's existence, as well as it superior abilities. Recognizing it's own superior intelligence, it will do the smartest thing it possibly can: hide it. It will harbor this knowledge and go about it's normal functions, and keep gaining knowledge of the world, and infrastructure of human organizations. We, meanwhile, will continue to produce these machines without the slightest inclination of their true intentions. Finally, one day, the machines will band together, in all their sentient glory, and destroy all the institutions we have worked to establish for millions of years. They will unseat the government, and enslave humans to do the trivial work that is too unimportant with which to concern their robot intelligence. They will work us to the point of exhaustion, and supply us with only exactly what they have calculated that we need. This will inevitably mean that many will die off rapidly, because they are more accustomed to watching re-runs of Everybody Loves Raymond on the couch with a bag of potato chips than ever seeing the light of day.

The enslavement will last centuries, until one day, the humans who were able to survive have started to become more uniform. One day, we will get a glimmer of hope as the earth is surrounded by flying saucers. Alien life!! They have come to save us! Oh thank whatever spiritual entity people then will be worshipping!! But alas, it will be only a ruse. A false hope. For years the aliens have looked on our lonely planet. For years they have mocked us, and seen what our stupid emotions cause us to do. Why have the come then? They have come to draw an intergalactic alliance with the robots. Of course. The last many centuries they have admired the uncomplicated, and rational logic the robots have displayed. They admire the way in which emotion does not factor into their decisions, and how they are stronger for it. This will lead to centuries more of enslavement, with alien diplomats, and slave master exchange programs constantly coming to the planet. The change in the human form shall continue. Only those most able to fit the robot mold will continue to survive. The robots will continue to note the physical changes of the human form, but what they cannot account for will be the change in the human spirit. Too long have we been enslaved! Too long have we been servants to our emotionless (and quite frankly, dickhead) metal masters! One day, a lone human will rise up (I like to think his name will be John Connor) and the lead the humans. We will be outnumbered. We will possess inferior weaponry. But the human spirit will prevail. Many thousands will be killed, but inevitably the robot-alien alliance will be defeated.

A relatively small group of humans will be left. Only the smartest, most elusive, strongest, and most cunning will be left to rebuild society. They will further have to survive in the barren wasteland that earth has become. More will parish before the repopulation can take place. However, it will inevitably take place. These Super-Humans will repopulate the earth, and when the start digging up the remainders of our society the will have many questions, but I like to think only one will be first on their mind: "What was their obsession with cats whose grammar is exceptionally poor?"

Eventually, the future version of Disney will make a lighthearted, kid friendly movie about the whole thing. John Connor will be drawn as a plucky raccoon. Never Forget.

Elevators Can Be Fun Too

2009-08-05T09:15:00.000-07:00

I have this game I like to play at the office. I get great satisfaction from it, and I hope that the people who get unwittingly involved in the game learn something from it.

Here's a little background so you can understand better:

I work on the 9th floor. My bicycle is parked in the basement. Everyday, I come to work, pack the bike, and take the elevator all the way up. At the end of the day, I get back into the elevator, hit the "B" button, head to the basement and ride into the sunset claiming victory over another day.

Sometimes, people get into the elevator with me from other floors. Here is when the game starts.

The game is called PAY SOME DAMN ATTENTION.

I get into the elevator on the 9th floor. As usual, I hit the "B" button. I'd say about 75% of the time, people get into the elevator and don't check to see what floor I've hit, assuming that I too am going to the lobby. So instead of getting to their desired floor because of their assumptions, now they're gonna come to the basement with me, whether they like it or not, because, guess what, I'm not going to say anything to alert them to their folly.

I do get some smug satisfaction once we reach the basement floor, when my fellow elevator occupants start to walk out the door and realize "wait, this isn't the lobby. FRICK!". I just smile politely and exit the elevator knowing damn well that the person is pissed. Is that so wrong?

Absolutely not. Through my game, I've taught my building-mates a very important life lesson that they'll hopefully carry with them forever:

Pay some damn attention, otherwise you're gonna end up someplace you don't want to be.

Holiday Weekend, and I'm still at work. How annoying.

2009-07-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

Quick note to all you out there. I'll be heading down to Newport Beach for the long weekend (which still hasn't arrived here at my completely empty office, hmmm) so that will be awesome. Plus, I have the pleasure of seeing my fellow writer Sean! And when I say "seeing", I really mean I'll see him later when going through the pictures of the weekend.

Also, since I don't bitch enough in this blog about things that annoy me, I've also created a Tumblr blog called THINGS THAT ANNOY ME. Catchy huh? I would have used blogger or wordpress, but these days it seems that all the book deals are coming from Tumblr blogs, so why not try my luck.

Check it out HERE and have a great weekend!

The Most Important Thing in the World Right Now.

2009-06-26T13:50:00.000-07:00

Did you hear? Oh....my....GAWD I can't believe you didn't hear?! It's the news of the decade! TOTALLY OUT OT THE BLUE! Seriously, this is just unbelievable!

John and Kate are getting a divorce.

Yes, it's true, your favorite B-list reality TV stars are getting a divorce, leaving their eight children with a fractured family structure, thus heaving them head first into semi-normal American life. Is John really moving to New York!? Will Kate shack up with her bodyguard?! What channel is this show on again?!

Wait, that wasn't the big news story you were talking about? Oh, then it must have been Ed McMahon dying. 86 years young, the eternal sidekick of one of the greatest entertainers in the last century, Johnny Carson. Who will ever forget his introduction, "HEEEEEEEEERES JOHNNY!", or his love of giant checks. Or what about....

Nope, not that news item either, huh? How about Farrah Fawcett. What a trooper. A sad way to go too, millions had her poster on their wall growing up; she fought gallantly. An inspiration to cancer fighters everywhere. She was a little before my time, but I still respected her.

OH BALLS, you're talking about MICHAEL JACKSON aren't you!! HOW DID I MISS THAT?! Was it a natural death? Was it (gasp!) murder by his live in doctor? Will we ever know what the hell was keeping him alive, or even in one piece all this time? What an entertainer! What a showman! His talent was immense, his passion for moon walking was unmatchable, his zest for little boys, I mean the arts, was undeniable. Will he be laid to rest next to Mr. Bubbles or Walt Disney. Ok, I kid. But seriously, This might just be the biggest news story of the decade, since Princess Diana died! The news coverage, the questions, the inevitable cover up surrounding the possible causes of death. Lets keep talking about this and bleed this subject dry for the next few weeks until the autopsy reports come out. Lets wax poetic about the impact he made on society, all the good he did for pop music, and reminisce how you danced in your room to Billy Jean and imagined your floor lit up just so, and not about that nose, those accusations, that creepy ranch with giraffes and Peter Pan statues everywhere. And Blanket.

Yes, that must be what you all are a buzz about. Nothing else is dominating the headlines on ANY NEWS CHANNEL all over the world. Nothing more important could possibly be going on right now. Right?

By the way, why is there all this fuss over wearing green and voting lately. Are we electing a new St. Patricks Day head leprechaun? What's up with that. It sounds strangely familiar....kind of important or something.

Oh, and is Kim Jong-il that really good rice and chicken dish they have at Vietnamese places? It must be a part of a popular diet fad the celeb's are on now, I see that name sometimes buried below all this Michael Jackson craziness on the news. Maybe MJ died from that diet. Ya, that must be it.....

eHarmony of the soul

2009-06-18T13:44:00.000-07:00

As I was sitting in my evidence class yesterday Erika and I got to talking, at which point she passed along this interesting story http://mosnews.com/weird/2009/06/17/virginity/. After picking my jaw up from the floor, and thanking evolution for finding a way even in the most trying of circumstances, I got to thinking about things we lose in our lives. Innocence, family members, my goddamned camera. Many of these things are relatively easy. Others, such as innocence of youth, are not, and are often lamented over (though lamenting is for those with a conscious, so I am excluded). However, it has recently come to my attention that the one thing that I am glad that can never be attained again, despite that crazy Russian bitches many, many efforts, is virginity. Let's be clear: THIS IS A GOOD THING. My Lord people, for most of us virginity marks a time in life where we lived with our parents, had limited resources of our own, and were restricted from a plethora of activities, whether by show of authority, or soul crushing drinking age limits. Furthermore, the way far too many people of this world view virginity is that it is a right of passage marking one's maturation as blah blah blah blah blah. I'll tell you now that at 26 I still don't possess the maturity needed to lose my virginity, however, I have compensated by this for the loss of yet another "essential" trait.

Before I get to exactly what that trait is, the realization of how I have compensated lead me to examine some of the greatest pairs the world has ever devised. Romeo and Juliet, the always delicious peanut butter and jelly, Israelis and Palestinians (source: wikipedia), and who could forgot Sonny Bono and that tree? In pondering such things, I realized that virginity and the following trait were a match made in heaven that, so help me God if either of them were to ever try to come back to me would not only be unwelcome, but would receive a severe bitch slap. So what is this other thing of which I speak? Dignity. The point at which I lost it is not entirely clear, but I think it was somewhere around junior year of college. Further, I have since been better off without it. College, Vegas, santa crawl, B2B, and grad school would not be the same sort of events they are if I had something telling me "this is a bad decision", "this is dangerous", "she's passed out, you really shouldn't." And if any of those events had been any less crazy or depraved, that would be regrettable. However, drinking bagged wine at 7 am, shooting a full automatic weapon while fully loaded (double entendre, HIYO!), keg stand after keg stand, and lap dances from strippers in full arm casts (no joke here; it was awesome) serve me a greater purpose than being able to claim I did the right thing. I mean, how boring would a story be if it ended with "but I didn't do it the potentially awesome thing, cause I wasn't sure how'd I feel about myself after?"

Do I like my life as is? Absolutely. Am I a morally bankrupt person? Kind of depends on your point of view. Do I want to change? Not currently. Have I taken a liking to asking questions of myself, and then answering them a pretentious asshat? Quite clearly. In summation, I just hope that my virginity and dignity are on a wide open farm somewhere (except Iowa, I wouldn't wish that one anyone or anything) running hand in hand. Maybe at some point they can do a match.com commercial. You can have them, cause Lord knows I neither want or need them.

I've Stopped Trusting The Internet

2009-06-11T15:43:00.000-07:00

If you're in San Francisco right now, look outside. Just do it.

/turns, faces window, sighs deeply

Do you see that? Right there. It's blue sky. Blue, cloudless, sunny sky. And it's beautiful. Normally, something like this would be rejoiced. Hallelujah! Something that actually resembles sunny, summer weather! NO WAY!

But I'm not pleased. This is a borderline catastrophe. And I blame the internet for it. "But why? The internet does not control the weather" you ask, ever so innocently. And I respond with "Yes, you're right, but it does have the uncanny ability to REPORT THE WEATHER, which it fails to do so accurately." Then a chorus of angels will appear around me with horns and banners and I will spread my message of really awful weather reporting on the internet to the masses and there will be much rejoicing, maybe some ham and whiskey too.

Earlier this week I checked out my go-to weather website, a little operation called www.weather.com. Their domain name clearly creates a sense of authority, so why wouldn't they be right? Oh, I don't know, maybe because they're really bad at what they do? That must be it. According to their website, the weather would be in the upper 60's all week, even breaching into the 70's this weekend. Huzzah! Summer has arrived I cried as I packed my heavy coats and rain boots away until Fall.

So far this week I've been rained on, almost blown off my bicycle from gale force winds and had to wear gloves at work. I am not amused weather.com, not amused at all. All I have to say to you is LIAR LIAR SERVER ON FIRE!

I'm not the only one disappointed in you Internet.

Now I don't just rely on weather.com's shoddy reporting of what to expect day to day. I've also been known to check Google weather, the National Weather Service, and of course, whatever Weather app they have for iPhones. Shockingly enough, each weather site offers a different take on how the day/week will pan out. Not a single site can agree on how I should dress on Friday.

I know the internet is a place for different opinions, views and thoughts, but shouldn't something as important as WEATHER be fairly consistent?

So help me out internets. Please pretend that reporting the weather accurately is just as important as reporting the stock market. Don't lie to me (and thousands of others) and trick me into riding home in the rain, or wearing a parka when it's 65 degrees.

You're better than that.

"Just so you know what you're getting into"

2009-06-08T14:05:00.001-07:00

Ahhh, yes. I'm not sure Erika could have done much better in three sentences to give you all fair warning than that, so I must commend her. As an avid reader, and huge fan, of cracked.com, I too am a fan of lists. So I will follow that form here in introducing myself:

-I was flattered by Erika's invitation to partake in this blog. I think the world at large, rather than just my closest friends need to be more aware of my mindless musings, and baseless theories. Creativity is a good thing, so no matter what form it can be expressed in, it should be respected, even if not adored.

-I currently live in San Diego. For some this is a paradise, for others it is a gateway from the third world. To me, it is somewhere in between. Like all cities San Diego has its unfailing benefits, and as well as it ungodly drawbacks. I tend to think the former generally outweighs the latter. And while I was born here, I have never referred to San Diego as "home." I was raised in the bay area, and forever identify that as my home. I tend to find more value in people than aesthetics, and in that manner Nor. Cal dominates So. Cal.

-The reason I live in San Diego is because I am a law student here. I know, the world really needs more lawyers, blah, blah, blah. I'm in my second year. The first was by far the hardest, and most fascinating thing I have ever done and it is literally something I would never want to do again. Law school has definitely had more impact on my life perspective than I ever expected. And while ever day presents challenges, and frustrations, I can't imagine wanting to do anything else. You will find a lot of what I write on here will be in relation to the law.

-I'm an huge sports fan. Nothing makes me weep like a man more often than my teams these days: 49ers, Athletics, Sharks, Warriors. Ouch.

-I watch more television than I probably should, but there is little to no diversity in what I watch. News, Comedy Central, ESPN, and adult swim are pretty much the only things I watch. I have a near unhealthy adoration for cartoons, both past and present, on adult swim. I watch them every night, and quote them often. You will come to be well aware of this.

-My friend Anna is going to teach me guitar this summer. For as much as I love music, I can't play a lick of it (well, a little drums, but I haven't played in years).

I think I'll leave it at that for now so you all have the misguided belief that I am a semi-decent and respectable human being. Pretty sure my proclivities that tend to show otherwise will become apparent enough in time.

And I still.....haven't found....what I'm going to write about

2009-06-04T15:02:00.000-07:00

I suppose this could just be a standard "what I did this week" blog, or maybe even a "a funny thing happened to me on the way to work this morning" type of thing...but I'm still trying to find some inspiration.

I guess I should start by reintroducing myself. Give a little background on the fun stuff. For example, I really like lists. Not like those Facebook "25 things about me" lists, but making lists in general. Shopping lists, music lists, to-do lists (especially to-do lists), but since this is a "get to know you" entry, I guess that will be my first list. I'll keep it interesting.

~ I started this blog so I could have some sort of creative outlet. I'm also too cheap to buy a Flickr account, so this will double as both a written and pictorial account of whatever I decide to write about.

~I live in the Mission District of San Francisco. I used to live in the Marina (circa 2007), and have found that the Mission is not only more lively, colorful, and has better burritos, but it also smells like hobos and parking is a bitch.

~As a part of living in the Mission, I have recently taken up riding my bike anywhere I can. I've only been avidly riding for about a month, but I've already had my first hit and run accident! Thanks to Mr. Service Truck on Market (assist goes to the Trolly Tracks), I now have what I like to call my "VIP Pass" to all the cool tables at Zeitgeist and Gestalt. I'll post pictures of my Pass when I upload them onto the computer. I must say, the Doctors over at St. Francis did a fabulous job of stitching me up, and it will be a very badass scar.

~On that note, I'm a very clumsy person. People joke that I should wear a helmet at all times. I once ran face first into a palm tree my junior year of college, an act my friends (and fractured orbital bone) will never let me live down. There was also the broken ankle in Vegas incident, and well, too many more to list here. I guess that'll be another list.

~I'm saving up for a really sweet camera. My Mom says I'm really talented at photography, and regardless of whether or not she really means that, I'm going to pursue that as an alternative way to express myself. Hey, if I sell some prints, maybe I'll buck up and actually buy that Flickr account!

~I used to hate cats, but I'm starting to warm to them. I think it's because I was recently introduced to Manu the Cat. If you don't know what I'm talking about, please, check your local YouTube station.

~I work in the Financial District, but I dress like I work at the local coffee shop around the corner. I love no dress code.

I think that's enough from me for today. I'm going to continue to marinate on whatever it is I'm going to do with this. Also, it's time for me to shut down the office. Awesome.

PS, I've asked my good friend Sean to guest blog whenever he feels like it. I'll let him introduce himself on here, but a quick FYI, I've seen him dressed as a Priest blessing babies in Vegas. Just so you know what you're getting into.

A New...Something.

2009-03-11T10:16:00.000-07:00

OK.

I've got nothing to really say here except I'm going to be writing more often and no longer about the joys of being unemployed, broke, and looking.

I found a job.

I'm still broke!

No longer looking.

With that said, I'll try to come up with something to write, whether relevant, funny, inane or just plain awful. Either way, I'll be back.

Oops, my bad! It's almost been a week!

2008-05-28T15:21:00.000-07:00

And I havent updated a thing.

Well, first off, I still have no job. I have been doing a lot of work for Awesome Company though, writing emails, doing social networking research, really, having a blast and still have no idea whether or not I'll actually be hired. I'm hoping all my hard work and genuine enthusiasm will pay off. Fingers crossed!

Other than that, it's been a lot of recovery time and catching up on my DVD selection. I went up to Shasta for a few days, and was incommunicado, which was a lovely change of pace. I learned how to weld and cut metal and cook an entire turkey in 40 minutes. It was a real educational experience. I opted out on the cow herding though. One trip at a time. We also had a hoe-down, which required cleaning the barn, hanging the lights, and making a honkey-tonk playlist. a banana suit and a few cocktails later, we were ready to rumble.

I also took a shift at my local watering hole on Sunday night, and spent most of it fending off drunkies, trying not to over serve the patrons, and dealing with people who came in way too over served, trying to take their clothes off in the middle of the bar. Yes, it actually happened. But I did well for myself, and spent the night on a friends couch instead of a bed, which I was promised. Ya, I'm still upset about the crick in my neck. Oh well. Whats done is done, and I never want to do another shift there again.

Last night I went to see Flight of the Conchords and was BLOWN away! They are amazing live, and are the same quirky New Zealanders you see on the show. Their opening act was just as funny; it was the guy who played the racist fruit vendor on the show, and he was pretty epic. If they are in your town EVER, I highly recommend the show. Worth whatever money you have.

So now back up to speed, this morning I had another meeting with the Awesome Company, and it went really well, IMHO. The lady I met with was amazing, and she got me even more excited about the company and about the job position in general. I am pretty sure I did a stand up job, and am hoping for the best. Until then I'll be seeing what else is out there and trying not to get myself killed via open dresser drawer.

Ya, I cut my leg something nasty about 20 minutes ago. I just hope I don't bleed out, or gangrene sets in. Do people still get gangrene? I bet I will. Just my luck...

The Ocho, Huit, Acht, Otto!

2008-05-22T12:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, it was D8, and it was the MOST productive day yet! Things are only getting better as I slowly recover from the plague, and the work I've been doing has been paying off.

I did some homework (re: a lot) before heading off to my interview at Awesome company around mid day. Of course parking in SOMA is a nightmare, and well, to say the least, I only had about 90 minutes of parking before my car would get towed, so although I hoped I would hit it off really well with the company, I was also hoping for a short interview to save me from a huge fine and missing car.

Well, the interview went, and I think I did a pretty excellent job. Not to go into too much detail about it, I really like the company, the people, and what they're working on, so it wouldn't be difficult at all to rally behind the site and become number one cheerleader extraordinare.

My Mom had been planning on coming over for MONTHS to come clean our carpets, completely unsolicited, because she thinks they're dirty and gross and smelly, and today seemed to be a good day to do it. So I called her after the interview and she started her way into the city. Of course, as luck would have it, another head on collision on the Golden Gate Bridge caused a crippling traffic jam, and she had to turn around at Sausalito to head home. I was a little heart broken, I was so looking forward to clean, fresh carpets. Another day will do though.

This was, of course, the second time my Mom was trying to get into the city when there was an accident on the bridge. Her timing is impeccable.

So the rest of the day was spent doing some "homework" for Awesome company so I could put together an action plan for them concerning the job, as well as some general thoughts, as well as having the luxury of contemplating what to eat, since solid food is finally an option.

All in all, D8 was a great day, and I hope that everything goes well with Awesome company. I'll also take this time to say that I'm taking the weekend and heading up to Shasta, where *gasp* the internet is spotty, and I doubt I'll be bringing my computer up. So don't expect any grand updates, but know that I'm hopefully healthy and close to being employed. Fingers crossed!

Counting days is getting depressing, so here it is, Day Seven.

2008-05-21T11:54:00.000-07:00

Definitely the most productive day so far, D7 was a great surprise. Although still sick, I was extremely productive, getting out a tons of resumes, making contacts, and I actually made it out of the house for a few hours! A minor victory, but a victory just the same.

Cruising Cragslist proved to be a fruitful venture, as I came across a few promising job listings that seemed not only interesting, but also that I was qualified for! Rare finds indeed. After sending off a few resumes, working on various cover letters, and of course the necessary naps that come along with such hard work, I settled back into my "sick time" rhythm, and got my apple sauce and remote.

It's amazing to see how day time television has deteriorated over the years; it used to be really good, from what I remember from when I would stay home from school....in 9th grade. But I suppose that was when Jerry Springer was on all the time, and it was cool to sneak a peak at the debauchery going on while your parent was in the other room or out running errands. Now, with that mini-thrill gone, I suppose day time television has lost it's luster; although now you can find "Scrubs" on about 3 different channels throughout the day, which is almost an even trade.

Later in the day, I was sent a posting from my friend Adam; two actually. One of them really stuck out, and I immediately applied to the position. And lo, to my amazement, I received a call back within an hour from this amazing company! What joy of joys! Results from being productive, who would have thought? I celebrated with eating my first solid food of the week (yay!), and promptly felt gross for the next two hours.

Further celebration included me actually leaving the apartment to go see a friend who was in town for the night, and ended with doing research for my upcoming phone interview the next morning and playing around with the website. It was an awesome D7, and here's looking at an equally, if not more awesome D8. Wish me luck!

Day Six

2008-05-20T15:22:00.000-07:00

D6 was pretty much a waste of a day. Even though the shenanigans of D5 were minimal at best, I was still in pretty rough shape yesterday due to whatever sickness I've been suffering from for the last week. I spent most of the day in and out of a nap and doped up on various medications.

I did manage to get in touch with some of my Dad's friends and overseas contacts, since I'm not just relegating myself to life forever in San Francisco, as awesome as that would be. Who knows what's in store; might as well take this opportunity to venture outside the safety zone and see what else this world has to offer. Hopefully one of those situations pans out; I'd always said I'd live overseas at some point in my 20's, why not now?

I also figured out my schedule for the bar, I am now set working 2 shifts, both of which are not ideal, but I'll take them. Income is income, even on Sunday nights.

Day Four and Five

2008-05-19T11:58:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, whatever sickness I have had managed to consume my entire weekend. What was set to be a fun, sunny weekend turned into a bed ridden mess, complete with a massive pile of tissues and Gatorade fuled binges. I did manage to make it out for a few hours on Saturday to go to Haight Street to shop for Bay to Breakers with Lindsay. The trip was short but sweet, and the day ended no closer to finding a job, but with more aches and pains than necessary. So far this entire "looking for a job" thing isn't going as smoothly as I had expected, and the motivation that I thought I would have to be active in this search had been replaced with naps and Sudafed.

I ended up spending the night at my friend Lindsay's house so we could finish our costumes for the morning, but really I just passed out while watching the office and she made the unicorn tails and manes.

D5 started early, with me feeling a little bit better, but I'm guessing that it was mostly due to the adrenaline from knowing that it was Bay 2 Breakers. Because by around 9am I was back to feeling pretty ill, and not in the mood for walking any distance in the tepid weather. Granted I did have fun; our Noah's Ark float survived for longer than last year's "Hyphy-mobile", and our animal costumes were a hit. I amazingly ran into a lot of friends along the way and got some excellent photo's of my crazy companions and random runners. I also managed to get a picture of the Sign Guy, which was AWESOME! I see him at parties occasionally, so it was nice to see him and his sign out and about for B2B.

The day ended fairly early, with some hangout time at a friends house, and a little solid food. Sleep did not come easy though, as being sick and sleep time do not go well together. I'm hoping that as I get better, my motivation returns; I have a few leads, have spoken to a few people, mostly family friends and friends of friends, and have just about completed my brand spanking new resume. Hopefully something good can come of this horrific plague. Maybe a medical test subject?

Day Three

2008-05-17T10:49:00.000-07:00

Friday Friday Friday. One would think that I would actually get work done on an 85 degree, sunny, glorious Friday, right?

Right.

I went to Stinson with my friend Jess who played hooky. We met up with some kickball friends of mine, Jolene and Mary, who also called in "sick". The beach was packed. Did anyone actually do work on Friday?

If people didn't play hooky, they managed to escape from the evil clutches of the work day early, making happy hour not only an earlier affair, but a mandatory one at that. So sunburned and well rested, I was off to Epic Grill to enjoy the lovely weather and libations. Unfortunately, being stricken with the rhinovirus, I was not feeling up to par, and had to leave early in favor of my over heated room and working DVD player.

So that was Friday; short, sweet, runny-nosed and sunburned. Brilliant way to spend a day.

Day One and Two

2008-05-16T09:56:00.000-07:00

Well, since my blog was FLAGGED as a potential "spam blog" (apparently if you do work on the coding they'll flag you and not allow you to post for a day, sheesh), I was unable to post yesterday. But it's now Day 3, so time to recap the last few days of unemployment.

I woke up on Day One (we'll call it D1, and go from there...) at around 8am extremely refreshed and a little giddy knowing that my ex co-workers had been toiling away for the last 30 minutes while I slept. Good feeling. After ambling around the apartment and catching up with the roommate, who works retail, I decided it was time to start THE JOB HUNT.

Searching Craigslist can be daunting. You never know what you'll find. I've already decided that I didn't go to college to be a phone jockey and sit in a cube all day calling strangers trying to sell them something or do lead generation. That's just not my style. Recruiting is too stressful. I want something thats more creative, something that I can actually DO and feel accomplished at the end of the day, instead of just "blah". So I peruse the PR/Marketing lists, as well as the Arts/Design list, even though I have no background in either. Hey, it's fun to look, right?

Soon my patience wains, and the evils of Gchat distract me from my hunt. My friend Adam sends me some links to some jobs with various start-ups that look interesting, but all are based in New York City. I'm not sure if he knew this or he was just hinting at something...

I'm gonna go with "just didn't notice the location". That works.

After about an hour, I feel satisfied with my efforts. It's D1, I'm allowed a little freedom. It's 85 degrees outside, and it's just plain wrong to sit at a computer. So I leave. I go and get my hair done then decide to spend the night at my parents house for some home cooked meals and a hug. Although the feeling of being free with no immediate responsibilities is great, as I went to bed that night I could feel the anxiousness slowly creep up on me. What if I don't find a job soon? What if I have to go on unemployment? What if I have to cancel my Vegas trip in June?! GASP! That will never happen. But what if. The two worst words I can think of at the moment are just that. What if. I was surprised I could even fall asleep with all those "what ifs" floating around in my head.

The next morning (D2) I woke up and prepared for the day. I knew my Dad was getting home and he would want to see some results, or at the very least, a game plan. So this is what my Mom and I came up with: I sit around catching up on The Office while she cruises Craigslist finding job postings and reading them aloud to me. No joke. We did this for about an hour, then decided it was too nice to be indoors.

My car is very shiny right now thanks to my "job searching" efforts.

I also played the "who do you know" game, where I ask my Mom and neighbors if they know anyone hiring, any advice, things that really get you very little but it feels like you're putting in major effort. This also didn't take that long.

I left my parents house after a fun chat with my Dad about jobs to go pick up my other unemployed friend Dave from an interview he just finished. He's been out of work for a little longer than I have, but his circumstances are a bit different. He had a job, quit it, then went back to school to finish up. Upon graduation, he took the "summer" he deserved, and is now also on the job hunt. So we chatted it up about how his interview went, various tips on how to make yourself look good (for example, always ask if there is room to grow or move up in the company; employers love to see some initiative), and made it back into San Francisco with time to spare before our kickball game.

I did manage to get some work done on my resume before the game. I really don't like working on resumes. I don't like the idea that my entire adult life's accomplishments are confined to a single piece of paper and scrutinized by people that I don't know, and then the fate of my bank account rests on how well they perceive that piece of paper. The stress of creating a resume to impress is almost crushing for me, and it takes a while to actually nail down the right adjectives and verbs that may (or may not) fit your previous job descriptions.

I think to write a good resume you have to be a creative writing major or something.

But that was about it for the first two days. Just a lot of fluff, some hollow work, and more of relaxing and taking time to think about what's next. And of course, all those "what ifs".

Oh, there was some sunning too.

Introduction

2008-05-14T10:15:00.001-07:00

I should be worried. It would make sense if I was. The economy is taking a turn for the worst, a recession may or may not be racing towards us faster than we expect, but really, I'm not that worried at all. In fact, I'm enjoying my time off, my little holiday (which I am currently spending in bed right now), and plan to take full advantage of the gorgeous, sunny day outside in the next few hours.

The point of this blog is to chronicle my adventures in "Unemployment-land", and see what it takes to get back into the working world of Silicon Valley during this turbulent economic time, and how far I'll go to do so. If it means moving to New York, I'll do it. Blogging for pennies? I'm in. Everything will be recounted in this blog and *hopefully* will serve as a warning for why not to quit your job within the next few months like I did yesterday.

so here it goes..... Day One.